What Was Missing
by lostsoul512
Summary: Hux is upset. Kylo is oblivious. The rest is obvious. ((Oneshot. Mild smut.))


When it came, it came in an explosion of brilliant light, burning fiery crimson red as it blazed across the sky and tore it to shreds. It came in a rolling wave of heat, abrupt and sudden, and the trembling of the ground under his feet. When it came, it was beautiful and breathtaking and maddeningly perfect and everything he had thought it would be.

General Hux watched the scarlet searing against the cloudless horizon, erupting all at once and set to decimate all in its path. He had been anticipating this for so long now he had lost track of _how_ long, had dedicated his entire life, his entire self, to this single second, this fraction of a moment. And now, all that he had worked for, all that he had strived to build, was all coming to light before his very eyes. He watched with an awed expression- he'd known it would be beautiful but he had never expected it to leave him breathless- all parted lips and widened eyes.

This was meant to be the proudest moment of his life.

Everything he had ever wanted, he had obtained, but as he watched the Republic go out in a display of flashing red against the atmosphere, he couldn't quite ignore the hollow vacancy in the cavity of his chest, the reminder that something was missing.

…

His footsteps were even, measured, timed, and they led him in long strides to the personal chambers of Kylo Ren. He stood before the door, licking his lips and adjusting his clothes and pushing a hand through the mess that had become of his hair, and he tried to tell himself that he ought to just turn and leave now. This was foolish, this was pointless, this was weak.

But he wasn't leaving, not when he had already gotten it in his mind to come in the first place. Hux was known for his determined persistence, a skill that had only become more and more polished the longer he was left in the unstable presence of the volatile Knight. He had spent the greater part of his evening locked away in his own quarters, trying to convince himself that this empty feeling in the pit of his stomach was a dreadful waste of his valuable time, but it must not have been enough, because here he was, and he was raising a hand to knock, and he was hating himself all the while.

The knock echoed in the corridor, but it was met with an even louder silence, the sort that seemed to shift in the air around him, thickening and winding its way around his throat. He almost managed to turn away then, to remind himself that he was better than this, that he had worked far too hard and perfecting the ability to shut himself down and rid himself of anything he couldn't control. But there was no being rid of Kylo Ren, and there was certainly no controlling him, and anyway his chances to run were stolen from him when the doors parted a moment later.

Ren stood unmasked before him with a blank expression, dark curls hanging around his face and those depthless eyes tearing straight into the General like they knew every secret he had ever tried to hide. And maybe they did, he didn't know. Maybe Kylo already knew everything, and all the effort Hux put into trying to act composed when he felt like shattering on impact was just another waste.

For a long while, neither of them spoke. Ultimately, it was Hux that broke first, and Kylo wasn't sure if he was surprised by this or not. However, he was surprised by the words that were spoken, because whatever he had been anticipating- another lecture, maybe, another attempt at trying to remind him who was in charge, another jab at his ability to rein in his temper- it was not the soft and almost desperate sound of Hux's voice as he asked, "Why weren't you there?"

Kylo blinked slowly, the corners of his mouth twitching into the slightest of frowns. It was clear to him that Hux was bothered by something- this in itself was strange, as in all of the time he'd had the displeasure of knowing the General, he'd never known him to be bothered by a damn thing- but what it was, the dark haired man hadn't the slightest idea.

Hux realized it, too, and it only served to worsen the matter. He'd thought that maybe if he came to Kylo, if he let down his guard even a fucking inch, then maybe, maybe Ren might come to understand why Hux was so upset. Why it meant so much to him. But he was starting to think that he had made a mistake, that the Knight was so utterly self-absorbed he would never grasp something so trivial, and so before he could make a bigger fool of himself he turned swiftly on the heel of his leather boot and began to walk away.

This, it seemed, Kylo wouldn't have. Hux had managed to get maybe two paces down the hall when he heard his voice calling him back- no Force, no trapping him in place, not even the usual barking demand of attention. Just this low murmur of his name, like he was afraid to say it aloud, and the redhead couldn't help but think that it had never sounded so beautiful as it did when it was whispered from the lips of Kylo fucking Ren. He hated that, hated this pull, hated the idea of anyone having this kind of sway over him.

And yet he stopped. He turned around. He kept the distance between them, but he felt far too aware of it, could practically see the air crackling with invisible sparks. Kylo tilted his head to the side, just enough to make his wild hair dance around his pale features. "You're frustrated," the Knight said slowly, brows knitting together. "You're upset…with me."

Hux let out a short sigh of a breath. "I suppose I am."

He expected Ren to lash out. To tell him that he should quit being so stupid, just as he had been telling himself for the last however many hours. He did not expect him to ask why.

Swallowing hard, the General's gaze flitted to the floor, though he was quick to lift it again, refusing to let the other man assume for even a moment that he was in power here. "Because," he said slowly, despising his voice for trembling, despising himself for entertaining thoughts that held the capacity to ruin him, and despising Kylo for thinking that he could just waltz into his life and make him want things that he had never wanted before. Clearing his throat, he started again, more firmly this time. "Because you didn't attend my rally."

There, he'd said it. He'd put it out in the open, and now there was no foreseeable way to take it back. Kylo's expression had not shifted in the slightest, nevermind the fact that Hux's cheeks were tinted with the faintest of blushes, the sort that threatened to clash horribly with his hair.

"And this upsets you," Kylo stated at last, drawing the words out slowly like he was trying to make the other man feel even more vulnerable. "Because…"

Hux felt a surge of irritation burn through his veins. "Because it was important," he snapped, shaking his head a little, forcing himself not to add that it was especially important to him in particular, that he had wanted Kylo there to share in his moment of glorified success. "You are a representation of this organization, and this was a monumental day for us. I've worked my entire life for this moment. I don't understand what you had to do that was more serious than being there to hear me-"

He cut himself off abruptly, but the damage was already done, the words already spoken, the truth of his intention already revealed. Already his cheeks were beginning to burn, a shade that might have stood a chance to rival his hair, and he wanted to leave, but he was trapped under Kylo's heavy stare, held in place even if the knight wasn't using the Force to keep him there for once. He flinched like he'd been hit, though Ren never even moved a hand.

Eventually, the General found his voice again, but the most he could muster up was a half-hearted "nevermind" and a quick shake of the head. "Don't know why I expected you to care in the first place, when you clearly don't give a damn about anything-"

"I care," Kylo said suddenly, interrupting him. He didn't raise his voice, didn't snap, didn't move an inch. Just let the two words- small, yet seeming far bigger, far more important to Hux than he wished to admit- linger in the space between them. As if believing the redhead didn't seem convinced, the other man gave a slight, almost uncertain nod. "I care," he repeated. Pausing, he bowed his head, a rare show of...well, Hux couldn't tell what, but he wasn't sure he'd ever seen Kylo fixate his stare on the ground before. "I...I didn't think you would want me there," he admitted. "You're always so angry with me, always telling me how I've ruined everything around here. I knew that this day meant everything to you, and I was concerned that my presence would bother you."

For a long while, Hux could only stare at him, afraid to shatter the silence with even so much as a breath. He'd never heard the knight speak so softly before, nor had he ever heard him speak so openly. He was scared that this had been a once in a lifetime moment, that if he ever opened his mouth again, it would be ruined, tainted, like it had never happened at all.

Kylo must have sensed the trepidation in him, because he lifted his chin just enough to catch the General's eye, staring for a moment in contemplation. Then he took a single step to the side, a silent invitation for Hux to enter his room, an invitation that it took too long for him to accept. When the door had sealed shut, the knight gave a low hum. "Do you...want to share you speech with me?" Kylo asked unsurely, the most unsure that Hux had ever heard him. "Would that make up for it?"

Hux scoffed at that. "It'd hardly have the same effect."

The dark haired man narrowed his eyes. "Don't be so damn difficult. Just say it."

For the briefest of seconds, Hux almost thought that they weren't talking about his speech at all anymore, that Kylo was prompting him to say something else entirely, something that Hux had known for a long time and he was fairly sure Ren knew it too, and he could practically feel the words form on the tip of his tongue- rushed, whispered, blurring into one single word instead of three separate ones- but he was quick to bite them back.

"Very well," he said, smoothing out the creases from his coat. Suddenly he was the one that sounded uncertain, a drastic difference to the way he'd carried himself on stage only hours before. He swallowed hard, shifting his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other, hating the way Kylo was looking at him so expectantly, like his patience was running out, like he was beginning to regret this, like he knew every thought that had ever crossed Hux's mind, like-

In a single, fluid movement, Kylo was suddenly before him, dangerously close, leaving only mere inches between them, and Hux thought he very well may have been suffocating in the thickness of the air around them. Ren lifted a hand and brushed his fingers against the redhead's temple, just the faint ghost of a touch, light enough that he might have been able to convince himself it had never been there at all. But there was no way to ignore the sensation that came next, the feeling of someone sifting through his mind, his thoughts- gently, this time, carefully, without causing too much chaos or disrupting the organization. Hux's mind was, like all else in his life, meticulously well-kept, his thoughts practically filed and his emotions well hidden. Kylo was able to take what he wanted with ease, but there was something else, too, some underlying thought he had not expected, something dark and heavy and dangerously close to lust.

This only served to worsen the smirk on his lips. "Today," the knight said slowly, his words a warm exhalation against Hux's face, "is the end of the Republic…"

"Ren, this is hardly necessary," Hux argued. "I wrote the speech, I know how it goes-"

"Hush," Kylo ordered. Their gazes never broke apart, not even when Kylo withdrew his hand and let it fall back to his side, not even when Hux felt the knots in his stomach tightening at their proximity and how badly he wanted to make the distance vanish entirely. The devilish glint in those depthless dark eyes assured him that if Kylo hadn't known before, he certainly did now, could likely feel the raw desire rolling off of him, twisting around his throat and making it hard to breathe, let alone speak.

This time, Kylo's fingers lifted to trace Hux's parted lips, eliciting a soft groan from him. "The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder," he whispered, feather-light touch- so light Hux was astounded that Kylo was even capable of it- trailing down his jawline and to his throat, where his hand closed around it, just enough pressure to be noticed, to send his heartbeat running wild. "At this very moment, in a system far from here-"

Kylo was interrupted by another low sound from the General, this one closer to a whimper, a plea, as his free hand moved to grip his hipbone, fingers pressing through cloth, hard enough to leave bruises. "-the Republic lies to the Galaxy," he went on, releasing his hold on Hux's throat and opting instead to trail his hand over his chest, down, down, hovering just above his waistline. "While secretly supporting the treacherous Resistance."

It was then that Hux lost whatever self-control he had left- which wasn't much to begin with- lurching forward to press their lips together. Was he going to regret it? Probably, but Kylo wasn't pulling away, and their lips met in an abrupt kiss, rushed and sloppy but someone still so perfect. Ren grinned into the kiss, breaking away and taking Hux by a fistful of red hair so that he could push him down to his knees, where the General wasted no precious time undoing his belt and his pants and freeing the knight's unexpected erection. Of all the ways he had expected this confrontation to go, this has certainly not been on the list, but Hux was beginning to realize that he had wanted this so long he didn't even know how long, and Kylo wasn't trying to stop him, just watching him with this curious expression, and Hux wasn't about to pass up this opportunity because it was likely never going to come again.

Kylo waited until the General had taken his length into his mouth, tongue swirling around the tip, until he dated to speak again. "This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate, to their remaining fleet," he murmured, the words interrupted every so often with a soft groan as Hux continued to go down on him. It was a sensation like no other, knowing now just how long, how desperately he had wanted this, how long he'd longed for Kylo- and the knight couldn't exactly say it was entire unrequited. Perhaps not to the same extremity, but he'd always sort of found him strangely alluring and had caught himself on more than one occasion confusion his desire to punch the man in the face with some other sort of desire.

"All remaining systems will bow to the First Order," he grunted, bucking his hips forward, tightening his hold on Hux's hair. He'd given up on trying to hold back, realizing now that it was pointless. Whatever this was, whatever this meant, wherever they would go from here, it didn't matter because right now this was all there was, all that existed. "And will remember this day," he pressed on, speaking now through gritted teeth as he felt himself growing ever closer to finishing, felt the rising pressure in the pit of his stomach, "as the last day of the Republic" -and then it was over, replaced instead with unsteady trembling, until he had to grip onto Hux's shoulder to keep from losing his footing altogether as he finished into his mouth.

A long quiet settled over them, interrupted only by Kylo's shallow breaths as he tried to regain control of himself. Hux swallowed hard, licking the last of Ren's lingering taste from his lips, peering up at him through his lashes. When the silence has stretched on too long, the General cleared his throat and muttered, "I think I like it better when you say it."

Kylo gave a laugh at that- short and dark but a genuine laugh nonetheless, working quickly to redo his pants before offering Hux his hand. The redhead ignored him, pushing to his feet on his own, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. They locked in a stare for a few moments, neither of them really sure what to say, but the silence that encapsulated them was almost comfortable, and there was this new understanding that existed between them, one that hadn't been there before.

After a while, Hux turned away, pushing a hand through his hair in a vain attempt to smooth it back into place, giving Ren a slight dip of his chin. He paused before reaching the door, though, when he heard Kylo's voice calling out his name- it was hardened now, lacking the careful delicacy it had held only moments before, and far closer to the tone Hux was used to.

"Hmm?" He questioned, glancing back over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I missed your rally."

The General gave only a slight shrug, though he couldn't help thinking that Kylo probably hadn't apologized for anything in a long time, and so he should have cherished the words for all they were worth. "It's alright," he replied. "If this is the outcome, I don't think you should attend any of them."

 _ **end.**_


End file.
